


the star that you turned into

by bookishpanda



Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [32]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Eating Disorder, Mentions of Suicide, mentions of depression, mentions of drinking, mentions of self harm, vague references to sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29760735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookishpanda/pseuds/bookishpanda
Summary: Logan remembers the night that he met Virgil. He remembers all of it.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Shorts [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067366
Kudos: 21





	the star that you turned into

**Author's Note:**

> MENTIONS OF DEATH, DEPRESSION, AND REFERENCES TO SUICIDE AND SELF HARM. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.  
> see tags for more warnings.

Logan remembers very vividly the moment that Virgil slotted their lips together for the first time. The pair was sitting under the stars, just hours after meeting in the same abandoned field to stargaze. Logan had spread out his heavy blanket on the grass and invited the stranger to sit with him, and the pair shared thoughts on the universe and the stars, and drank warm beers that were in the back of Virgil’s old car.

At some point, under the bright light of the moon, Virgil had taken Logan’s hands and felt the lines on his palms.

“You’ll be free soon,” Virgil whispered, and Logan wanted to ask more, he craved the details, but the smaller man had leaned closer to him until their lips were pressed together as if there was a magnetic force driving them together. And the craving for details melted into a primal need for Virgil, only Virgil.

After that night, Logan’s life shifted into something he could barely recognize. Virgil became a constant, things moved fast but not  _ too _ fast - and they were happy, or… Logan  _ thought _ they were happy together, laying under the stars whenever the sky was clear, their bodies twisting and caving in together. They moved into a tiny apartment together, cooked meals together, and woke up tangled with each other’s limbs each morning.

But while Logan liked to  _ observe _ things and people, he really wasn’t an observant person. He didn’t notice the bags under Virgil’s eyes grow deeper. He tried to ignore the way that Virgil’s clothes sagged around him. He tried asking about the scars on Virgil’s thighs and wrists once — but Virgil did what he always did when he wanted the topic to change; he distracted Logan with his lips.

And it kept working, so Logan didn’t notice that the man he had fallen in love with had started crumbling like an ancient statue. He’d turn down the invitations to go look at the stars in favor of curling up in bed together until the silence drove them both to sleep. Eventually Virgil stopped kissing him. Eventually Virgil began sleeping on the floor of the living room, claiming that it felt good on his back.

The light that Virgil had brought into Logan’s life was fading. Even though Virgil had improved Logan’s life, given him a sense of purpose and love, something was off. 

The last night that Logan saw Virgil, the two went out to the field they had met in and laid under the stars. Virgil was silent, his head resting on Logan’s chest, until finally the smaller man let out a breath; Logan wondered how long he had been holding it in.

“I’ll be free soon,” Virgil whispered. And like that first night, Logan wanted to ask more. He craved the details, but then Virgil’s lips were on his, and on his body, and any curiosity and concern he had was pushed aside. 

Logan knew the following morning that the man he loved was gone. The earth had suddenly felt empty, and Logan’s heart was aching. Virgil was in pain for too long, since long before Logan had met him. And now, Virgil was free. But before he freed himself, he freed Logan, too. 

Logan finally figured out what Virgil had meant on that first night. A portion of Logan’s heart was with the man he loved, in the stars together. He made sure to put the ring box in the casket before it was sealed.

Logan was sad, of course. As sad as someone could possibly be when the man they wanted to marry dies. But Logan also felt… relieved on behalf of Virgil. Because now they were both free. 

Years later, Logan would still return to the field, lay out that old ratty blanket, and gaze up at the same stars that he once gazed at with Virgil. One would flicker, and he would smile. And, when Logan finally succumbed to his old age, his last thought was of the man who brought light and love to his life, the man who set him free. 


End file.
